Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. I have always desired a normal relationship with you, just because I know that us being like “best of friends” is not going to happen. I only wished for one that does not include bashing and harsh words when we fight because they are inevitable. It fails me every time, yet I never grew tired… until now.
Time and again you have shown me that what I desire is not possible – that you hate me too much to even try.
But hey, I would still like to think that I turned out fine. Hell, I know I did. I am different – yes, but not in a bad way. You might not be pleased with anything I have done, plan and currently do but I know that I am in a way pleased with myself. See, you think I haven’t achieved anything – probably true, but I have done a lot to be proud of; some things even that you should have done yourself.
I may have wronged you a couple of times, though in truth, some of these moves might be a result of what I have been shown ever since. Have you ever thought of that? No, of course not.
Awful, I know. I am not hating on you anymore – I have grown tired of that. Today I write this with sincere numbness, if such even exists.
No thanks to you, I am independent and unstoppable. I have a lot of bumps to overcome but I’m not expecting you to be there, you were never present anyway. I will get to where I want to go, be who I want to be, and one day you won’t be able to say anything – you might not say you’re pleased but I won’t care, at least you won’t say anything.
Wait for it.
One day, soon.
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